Tuesday, August 30, 2011

A new adventure... sort of.

So, with the aid of my sister, I've finally decided, on my own, that it's time for a lifestyle change. diets are viewed as a quick, temporary fix. This is not what I'm after. By this time next year I want to be OK with having salad for lunch almost every day and not feel so proud when I drive past the drive-thru while running errands on my lunch at work and not order something. I've started a food journal, i wear a pedometer every day, and I try to make it to the gym 4-5 days a week.

these ambitions aren't with out some extreme challenges, I might add. This weekend was probably more challenging than thanksgiving would be, but a little less than Balbiani Family Fun Day (a huge party with Frank's God parents where all you do is eat all day) will be this coming Sunday. I watched as my family and friends enjoyed fried artichoke hearts and zucchini, huge bowls of polenta topped with sauce and cheese, sfingis (Italian donuts), sausage sandwiches and ravioli. I, on the other hand enjoyed half a sausage link and some peppers (no bun) for lunch on Saturday, followed by a grilled eggplant and pesto sandwhich for dinner, minus half the bun. Sunday, I got smarter. I had breakfast at home and brought a snack with me. But by 2pm I was hungry. so I ordered tri-tip with pesto and tomato, and ate half of it, sans bread. Sunday night, in the comfort of my mother's home, I watched as my family ate 2-3 helpings of pasta with homemade sauce and bread and butter, while I ate a 5 oz piece of baked salmon, green salad, and some roasted squash. Good grief, what am I doing?!

I've been known to make some of the best Hollandaise sauce in my family (thanks Betty Crocker!), so I've been promising Frank I'd make him eggs benedict. Well, I've been eating lots of egg whites and saving the yolks, so last night I caved and made frank eggs benedict. I, on the other hand, enjoyed a 110 calorie bagel-thin topped with a small piece of lean ham steak and egg whites scrambled with mushrooms, and a few roasted potatoes. This batch of Hollandaise sauce was probably some of the best I've ever made, so I'm glad he enjoyed it, with out me. while I watch. haha!

So what's it all for? During a recent visit to the doctor, I was informed that I have some all too common syndrome called PCOS (poly-cystic ovary syndrome). It's a catch 22, really. It can cause obesity and troubles losing weight, along with excess and dark facial hair and moderate to sever cystic acne. Not to mention ovarian cysts and troubles with fertility. But, it can also be cause by obesity. So which is it? Do i have it because I'm fat, or am I fat because I have it? We don't know. All I know is I have to be healthier if I want to treat it and have the symptoms fade. I don't know if it will ever go away, but it's being treated.

For the last 7 years I've toyed with the idea of getting more fit, back to the high school water polo player I was 10 years ago. But pot was my only drug of choice and Jack in the Box is open for an extreme sausage sandwich at 2:30 in the morning. So I smoked and ate and didn't care. I don't partake in fat talk. I've never stood in the mirror and picked out every flaw, I've never complained about being over-weight and I've said "I don't know how I got like this." Oh no! I'm well aware of how I got fat, and I'm finally ready to deal with it.


Best thing is, I'm not setting weight loss goals. I'm setting fitness goals. I want to do at least 5 burpees with ease by my birthday (don't know what it is? look it up. they're intense!) I want to RUN the willow glen 5K next May. I want to be as strong as I was when playing a whole water polo game wasn't THAT hard.

So follow me, cheer me on. Lord knows I need it!

Absolutely,

The Lady

Thursday, August 11, 2011

College Student vs. Working For The Man

So, a while ago, I had a thought while I was going pee at work... I know, a potential overshare, but just hear me out... I was looking at my legs, and I was a little offended by the sheer white-ness of them. Now, every other summer, this has never really been an issue, because I've taught swim lessons, been a nanny, or, in general, was able to spend more time in the sun. Next Tuesday will mark my 1-year anniversary of officially working for the man. Herein, I will examine the pros and cons of being a college student, and working for the man...

Round 1: Scheduling:

– When you're in college, your schedule changes at the end of every quarter/semester, and chances are, you get a week off between them. This is great... sometimes. If you register too late, your chances of any time sleeping-in are pretty much gone, and you'll likely get stuck with a class at 7:30, which is half an hour to an hour earlier than most people start working. BUT, chances are, you only have classes m-th and get a 3 day weekend, which is great for tanning! But then there's homework...

– When you're a full-time employee, generally, work begins somewhere between 8 and 9. When I worked in Hollywood, I started at 10. I work 8 full hours, and leave when I should. I'm not married to my job, and I don't take my work home with me. There's no homework, but I also don't get 3 day weekends or the option to choose my schedule. But, if I take time off, it's approved, and I get paid for it.

Round 1 Winner: College Student


Round 2: Getting Paid

– Well, this should be a clear cut decision... When you're in college, it's pretty difficult to work full time and go to school full time. Don't tell me it can't be done, because I did it for 8 months. And don't tell me it's easy, because I did it for 8 months. BUT, at the same time, you're working to pay your living expenses, but you're also taking out student loans to pay for your education. So you're spending more money than you're making in the long run...

– Ha! There's a chance you could not make enough money to live at the means you'd like. Such might be the case for Frank and I right now, but mostly because I am the primary bread-winner and have student loans and a car payment that are continually weighing on my bank account. But, there are many more times where I go to the grocery store and don't count the cost of food down the very last penny, because if I spend a little more than I planned, it's not that big of a deal.

Round 2 Winner: Working for the Man.


Round 3: Days Off

– When you're a college student and don't feel like going to class, you just don't go. You might do the "right thing" and email your instructor and feign an illness or emergency, but you lay in bed and relax, go tan, run errands, have lunch with friends, whatever. But, you're paying valuable money for an invaluable education that's "supposed" to get you a great job with an earnings potential to pay your student loans off in a timely manner (Supposed is in quotations because, let's face it, right now, there are no jobs. For anyone. It's cut-throat for some of the most qualified college graduates.)

– Meh, I don't feel good this morning. I get up and go to work, but perform at half my ability, because, well, I don't feel good... I'm really sick, I call (or text, in my case) my boss and let them know I won't be coming in today, but if they really need something from me, they can call or text me and I will do my best to take care of it. And, if I have sick hours accumulated, I'm getting paid for recuperating. Or, I have a thing planned, and I need the day off, I take a vacation day. I've never been the type to call in sick to play hookey. If I'm out sick, it's probably because I spent the night with my face in the toilet, or I've got a fever.

Round 3 Winner: Working For The Man



Now, let's face it, a "real" job/working for the man isn't for everyone ( and I don't quite qork for the man because there are only 15-20 full time employees in my office on any given work day, and well, the owner is nearly 90 and he comes in every day...)  Some people might still tell me I don't have a "real" job, since I get to play on a computer all day and make Arsty-Fartsy crap. And well, while that might be true, I also have bosses, and a strict schedule, and deadlines, and last minute stressful situations, and a salary. It doesn't matter how early I come in or how late I stay, I get paid the same amount. The 15th and last day of every month, my check is always the same.

I didn't feel prepared for high school after middle school, I didn't feel prepared for college after high school, and really, I didn't quite feel prepared for a full-time job working for the man after college. 18 months ago, you could have asked me what scared me most in life, and my answer would have been, in this order: earthquakes, thunder & lightning, and whatever it is that comes after college. Well, now, for me, whatever it was that came after college was a full time job utilizing the skills I paid a shit-ton of money to learn. So it's pretty worth it to me.

But, I can't say I don't miss swimming till my fingers are prune-y, getting a great tan, partying on a Thursday night because I don't have to wake up and go to anything on Friday, staying up late because i have limited responsibility... But what's great about things like this now are that I can afford to go spray tan because I don't have time to get a real tan, I'm too old to party on Thursday and make it to work on Friday, so that's usually date night, and I have a real schedule that makes me feel like an adult.

You're supposed to grow up. Some people take a little longer than others (points at self!) But, realistically, you're expected to act like an adult, moreover, a grown-up. Not too long ago that word made me shudder. A swim student once asked me, when I was probably 21 or 22, if I was a grown-up. I told her no. I was an adult. But not a grown-up.

Now, I'm afraid, I'm kind of a grown-up. And it still scares the shit out of me!

Absolutely,

The Lady.